Thursday, April 1, 2010

Our Sweet Kelnai

Man where do I start? I guess I will start on Thanksgiving on 2008! Shane and I went to Seattle, WA on a vacation. He served his mission there and he (we) also have family out there. We initially went to visit one of the member in the area where he served. We got word that he was ill and might not have long to live so we thought we ought to make it out there. We stayed with Shane's cousin's Shayna and Mia, which turned out to be perfect. We didn't have to pay for a hotel, we got to get to know them a lot better (which by the way they are so fun, funny, and very enjoyable to be around), and had a very enjoyable time. About a month after getting back from WA. I ran into the room waving a pregnancy test saying I'm pregnant, I'm pregnant! Who would have thought that Washington was even more than we had planned. We conceived while we were out there. How excited we were to add to our little family. The pregnancy went well, at 29 weeks we had a little scare but it was a false alarm. My Dr. kept a close eye on me because I was measuring big but every time the answer was the same "You are going to have a big baby." At 36 weeks we had another ultrasound because the baby was measuring big and they wanted to make sure it was the baby and my not retaining fluid...It was the baby! After the ultrasound Shane went back to work while I stayed for my routine check up. Shane's Birthday was just around the corner so after my appointment I stopped by Kohl's to buy him some clothes. When I finally finished shopping, it was time to head home to make dinner in time for Shane to arrive home from work. Less than a mile away from Kohl's my perfect little world as I knew it became a lot more complicated. A man ran a red light and slammed right into the driver side of my Honda Accord. I didn't even see it coming, he blind sided me. I was so scared that my car was going to explode (because in the movies they always do so it must be how things work right? lol) my car was making an awful noise so I tried to get out but couldn't. My pregnant, hurting body couldn't complete the task of getting out of the car. As I realized this I started to slowly fall out, luckily someone caught me. He was a off duty cop, first on the scene. Everything else went really quickly, I couldn't find my phone to call Shane it had been lost in the accident. An ambulance showed up and took me to County Hospital. Even though the hospital I was suppose to deliver at was a few miles up the road, they had to take me to County because it was the closest trauma unit. On the way the men in the ambulance got a hold of Shane and told him to meet us there. When we got to the hospital what seemed like 50 doctors were asking questions, poking needles, taking vitals, cutting my clothes, it was chaos. I was scared and even though I was in a room of so many people I felt alone. As they wheeled me out to go get a scan there in the hall waiting was MY SHANER, words can't explain how relieved I was to see him all I could think to say was I'm sorry and cry! After the scan they took me up to the maternity ward and did a series of tests. Shane asked if we should call our families and I said lets wait til we know for sure what is going on. The doctors were preparing us, they said that the longer the baby was in the womb the better. They also warned us that they might have to take the baby by way of C-Section. In the case of that the explained the procedure, told Shane he would be able to come in after I was prepped and had us sign the papers.Four hours later I got up to use the restroom and when I got back in bed they couldn't find the heartbeat with the Doppler so they rushed in a ultrasound machine and found it but her heart rate had dropped from the 160's to the 90's... This was serious, they rushed me in for a Emergency C-section. Three minutes later she stopped breathing, two minutes after that the doctors had her out. From there on out things were up in the air... Shane was outside the delivery room all dressed in scrubs waiting for the doctors to come out and tell him he could come in for the delivery, he had no idea thing had taken a turn for the worse. The Doctor came out and told him that the baby wasn't doing well and he would have to wait to come in and see her. He was so confused, he said "Wait the baby is out of Josie?" The Dr. then explained what happened and said if you'd like to see her I can take a picture with your camera and bring it back out for you to see. So she did... A while later the Dr. came out and said baby is breathing on her own, so Shane sent a text to our families saying Baby and Mom are fine! Shortly after that the opposite news came that she was back on the breathing machine, and sadly not doing well. They transferred her over to the Phoenix Children's Hospital around 12:30, in hopes that their machines would help to stabilize her. At 3:30am Shane received a call on his cell phone, the person on the other end of the line said you better get over here things are not looking good. Shane sat and held our baby girl for the last 3 hours of her life, praying that as he watched her vital signs go down that something would change for the better. Finally at around 6-6:30 he had the Doctors unplug her so she wouldn't have to suffer any longer. The facts still remain that we did have a Beautiful little girl... Her name is Kelani Lee Na Puanani Kealoha McKinnon, she was 7 lbs 8 oz. 20 inches long, survived for 9 hours, she was born on Aug. 3rd 2009 and died on Aug. 4th 2009. Our families came from all over to support us in our time of need, it was such a blessing to have them all around as we endured this hard trial. We had a memorial for her that Thursday and a week later on Saturday we buried her. We will forever remember her and love her more than words can express. It is amazing the love you can feel for someone who you never have met before in life. We are grateful for the knowledge we have of eternal families and knowing we will be able to raise her after this life makes us want to be as good as we can be so we can see her again! We love you Kelani!!! xoxo Love Mommy and Daddy! I will post Pictures in a bit!

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